Having a friend or a circle of friends can be a great joy. But what if that isn’t a reality for you? What if you struggle with loneliness and aren’t sure where to start in approaching God in your prayer for loneliness?
Our compassionate God sees our hearts filled with loneliness, and uses it to draw us closer to Him and to others. Sometimes we need encouragement to realize these truths.
This type of encouragement is plentiful in a devotional book compiled by Kristen Strong, called Praying Through Loneliness: A 90 Day Devotional for Women. I was recently provided a copy of the book by the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
Reading it was a meaningful journey through friendships, loneliness, and God’s hand at work in every situation. If you’re looking for practical advice and strengthening in this area of your life, this book is a refreshing devotional companion to your quiet time.
Read through my review and don’t miss the FREE printable Prayer Points for Friendships at the end of this article!
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Praying Through Loneliness Devotional: Navigating Loneliness in Your Life
I loved reading Kristen Strong’s Back Roads to Belonging several years ago. I loved her point of view on making friends and finding a place to belong.
Her perspective on friendships made her the perfect person to compile Praying Through Loneliness, which contains 90 devotional entries from over 40 authors.
Some of the authors you might recognize – Holley Gerth, Kathi Lipp, Hope Lyda, Mary DeMuth, and Renee Swope. However, whether or not you are familiar with all the authors, they each brought a well-written and thoughtful perspective on how loneliness had affected them, and how God had used it in their lives and relationships.
The book is divided into three sections:
- “Feed Your Heart”
- “Feed Your Faith”
- “Feed Your Friendships”
Each day contains a Bible verse, a short devotional, a prayer for loneliness (or aspect of loneliness), and an ending quote.
When I plan to write about or talk about a book with others, I read with a pen, and I underlined so many sentences in this book! I’ll share some later. There are a lot of little treasures in this book.
As an introvert and an overthinker, it can be difficult for me to make new friends. And hurts or losses of friendship in the past can make me too cautious around people I’ve just met. I saw my need to read a book like this.
I read Praying Through Loneliness more like a traditional book; it’s designed to be read as 2 pages a day for 90 days. This gave me a beautiful overview of the book, and helped me gain perspective on the subject of loneliness as I heard from a multitude of voices.
These are three important points that ministered to my heart from reading Praying Through Loneliness.
God Meets Us In Our Loneliness
When circumstances are easier, with plenty of support along the way, we might not recognize how much we need God. It is often in challenging times that we see our need to depend on Him.
Leslie Porter Wilson had just moved to a new city and was struggling to find connection. The loneliness from that move, coupled with a newborn at home, was difficult to bear. Yet on Day 24, she reflects:
“I learned that the Lord needed to strip away my dependence on others to bring me closer to Him. Is He doing the same thing in your life?”
Sharla Hallett, on Day 31, wrote about feeling lonely for years as her friends married, and she continued to be single. Yet she saw the good in it.
“Most of us will experience a point in life when friends won’t completely understand what we are going through. However, during that time, God invites us into deeper intimacy with Him. In our loneliness, He meets us in a way He may not be able to otherwise.”
Our gracious God uses everything in our lives for His purposes for us. He can use loneliness as a beautiful time of getting to know Him better, depending on Him, and waiting on Him to answer our prayer for loneliness.
Friendships Go Through Seasons
Most people don’t have the same friendships throughout their whole life. A friend from childhood should be a great treasure, but having a friendship like that can be an exception rather than a rule.
When life changes, our friendships have to change, too. If they don’t change, they may have just been for a season. That can be difficult, but is also a part of life. As Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV reminds us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
Rachel Wagner’s devotion in Praying Through Loneliness from Day 53 was especially meaningful to me on this subject. Not being a young woman, I have had friends who have passed away. One of my best friends died a couple of years ago, and grieving her has been hard. I miss her presence in my life.
Yet Rachel’s words remind me that our friendship was for a season.
“The parting from a close friend – through relocation, conflict, a relational drift, or even death – can bring great loneliness. Letting go is painful…But what if we could learn to see these changes the way we view the shifting seasons? Every year, for example, we must bid summer goodbye. There’s a natural order God has set in motion that allows life on earth to thrive according to His good purposes…If a sparrow can’t fall to the ground apart from Him (Matthew 10:29), surely He has the timing and durations of my friendships well in hand.”
I trusted God, just as my friend had, that His will was accomplished in her life. But did I trust that He had a plan for me when I experienced the loneliness from her loss? God has been teaching me on this throughout this season, but this devotion brought clarity to my thoughts.
If He is the Lord of my life, He should be the Lord of my friendships as well. It doesn’t mean that I should just sit back and wait for Him to bring a friend to my doorstep, although He can do that and He does do that!
But I can trust Him, through prayer and through obedience, as I navigate friendships, even the difficult parts. This sentiment is echoed in other devotional entries throughout the book.
We Need to Prioritize Connection
Being lonely is hard, but staying in it is even harder. Being a friend involves risk. You may have to say goodbye sooner than later, they might hurt you along the way, or some other negative thing you imagine might come true.
Yet friendship is worth it! God designed us for connection. In Day 64, Heather Eberhart explains that she had moved 8 times in 13 years. She had been putting off connecting with others until she got settled, but God reminded her friendship is not a want, it is a need.
“God never designed our lives to be lived alone. So if you are someone who moves often, whether across town or across an ocean, it’s time to put friendship and connection in your needs category. God will meet those needs by providing for you, including bringing individuals into your life with whom you can build community.”
Holley Gerth writes about not letting loneliness dictate your actions, in Day 79 which is aptly titled, “Boss Your Loneliness Instead of Letting It Boss You.”
“When we listen to what loneliness tries to tell us, we withdraw when what we really need to do is reach out.”
While it can be helpful to identify our emotions, we don’t need to let them run our lives. Instead, pray about what God would have you do in your loneliness and your friendships.
Overall, I loved reading through Praying Through Loneliness. The multitude of voices in this book is really helpful. You may not agree or identify with each one – this often happens if you read a devotional book with many authors.
But I appreciated hearing from a lot of women on diverse subjects, some of which matched my own experience and others who had different circumstances I hadn’t experienced.
Some of the authors talked about their personal experiences with neurodivergence, racism, PTSD, caregiving, dementia, foster parenting, or anxiety, among many other subjects. I appreciated that there seemed to be a wide age range of these female authors contributing to this book.
If you want to know more about Praying Through Loneliness, take some time to watch the trailer.
Printable Prayer Points for Friendships
I’ve created a list of prayer points that you can pray for your friendships. Whether you are in a time of loneliness, or are surrounded by friends, praying for and about friendship should be a priority in your life.
Here is a list of the prayer points.
- Pray that whether you are lonely, or have many friends, that you will turn your heart to the Lord. “When you said, ‘Seek my face,’ my heart said to you, ‘I will seek your face, LORD.’” Psalm 27:8
- Ask God to show you who you can be a friend to, and that you would bless each other. “A man of many companions may be ruined, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24
- Pray for the Lord to help you be a good friend. “A friend loves at all times; and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17
- Ask God to help you with any past hurts or issues that hold you back from friendship. “He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
- Pray for God’s will for your friendships. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
These prayer points and scriptures for friendships can be found on this free printable of prayer points for friendship, available for free in my Gumroad shop. It asks how much you want to pay; feel free to enter $0 so that you can download it for free.
A Prayer for Loneliness
Reach out to God in your loneliness! This example prayer for loneliness can be useful as inspiration for your own prayer, or you can pray along with it as you read it.
Dear Lord,
I thank You for seeing me and knowing me. I am grateful for Your abounding love for me!
My heart cries out right now for a friend to share my everyday life with, an “iron sharpening iron” friend (Proverbs 27:17). Please provide me with that friend, in Your perfect timing.
Help me to depend on You each day, whether I am still searching for friends or have many around me. You are my Savior, but You are also my friend!
May You be honored in all my friendships, Lord!
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Thank you so much for reading my book review about Praying Through Loneliness. I pray that if you get this book, that it will bless you and encourage you like it did for me.
If it’s difficult for you to afford books, consider requesting it from your library. Some local libraries allow you to suggest books to add to their physical or eBook collections.
If you like reading this post, you may also enjoy Bible Verses about How God Sees Us and Prayers for Feeling Overwhelmed.
